Monthly Intention

Monthly Intention
My Whole30 Committment

Erin Cummings Photography

Monthly Obsession

Monthly Obsession
December's Monthly Intention


Disconnection is my Contribution

Disconnected : having had a connection broken; lacking contact with reality.

I'm a continent away, I'm an ocean away, I'm countries away, and I'm miles away...hell I'm years away it seems. I am disconnected. I'm disconnected from my normal life, from my kids, from my friends, from my family, from my world and community. 

The moment we hit UK soil I flipped my phone on and instantly tried to connect to my international phone plan that I purchased...can't get it to work, no internet, no connection. So far it hasn't worked at all this whole trip, only having wifi at restaurants and hotels (and when I say restaurants I mean the casual ones in which you can actually have your phone on the table). 

I'm addicted to the connection, addicted to the constant stream of information, addicted to seeing what people are up to/not up to. Once I finally gain internet access I instantly log on and see if my mom or dad has posted recent pictures of the kids (acceptable), update my friends on a cool picture I took today or even something I'm up to (acceptable), continue a conversation via text I had with  friends earlier today (acceptable), fall back into the reality of the messiness I left behind (not acceptable). 

I grew up in the "Facebook Boom". It started my junior year of high school, I logged on because I happened to be taking college credit class so I had a college email address I could use. Ever since then it has been one of my sources of connection. Yeah, I post a lot, I don't care. My family lives all over the world and it is awesome to throw something up on Facebook and have family from California to England and England to Australia see it. I think it is a great way to stay connected with friends and family across the globe and you can easily see what is going on in their lives. 

Being disconnected from the internet actual made me present to the fact that I love the people in Scotland. I love the villages, I have enjoyed talking to people and getting to know their personal histories. I've been able to experience the sites like never before. Without the internet, I could actual focus on the site and feel what was around me. I even guided Kyle and I on a hike with a very "dodgy" (as the Scots like to say) connection. Luckily I had walked the roads before so I had memory on my side. 

Kyle and I were talking over dinner, that he has also disconnected from work a bit. He hasn't been feeling good, and has been answering emails only when I'm pumping. I was shocked to actually realize he hasn't taken a work phone call. 

Things are messy in our lives, not with each other but with stuff going on. One of my friends asked why I was bringing my burden with me. Good freaking question......because clearly I had. I'm watching what is going on, I see it. I hear it. But I made a commitment the burden isn't coming back with me, it stays right where I leave it way far way from my reality. I'm disconnecting from my burden and I'm using the opportunity of my vacation to do so. To make a change, and to stick with it. 

It took me all May to get present and now I am present to the fact that disconnecting is my contribution to myself, my friends and my community.  I've enjoyed being disconnected, there are a few things that will permanently stay that way. I am however super excited to reconnect with two little people, knowing that disconnecting even for a moment contributes to them as well. 

An neach nach cìnn na chadal, Cha chìnn e na dhuisg.
[He who will not prosper in his sleep, Will not prosper when awake.]

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