Monthly Intention

Monthly Intention
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Monthly Obsession

Monthly Obsession
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I am a failure.



I am a failure. I failed. This didn't work. I didn't work. I can't do it. I don't know. I am dumb. People perceive me as stupid.

Nursing Friendly Favorites



Nursing friendly clothing is the unicorn of all clothing, let me back up...CUTE nursing friendly clothing. It is IMPOSSIBLE to find, and when you do find a cute shirt or dress its way over priced or sold out.

I feel like I have looked through the entire internet, 100s of sites and there are maybe 5 different places that have stood out. THIS IS A PROBLEM. I know I will only wear the clothing for a year, I'm an over buyer anyway so this isn't even an issue for me. Why, WHY are there no breastfeeding friendly clothing stores?!?!

(Please check out my blog post on nursing friendly athletic wear if you are interested in that here.)

As most of you know I am obviously breastfeeding. If you aren't, you are either reading this post to be a supportive person, which I thank you (also "HI" mom and dad and supportive friend!) or you are yourself looking for this very particular niche clothing and have gotten nowhere. (Option 3: You don't actually like me at all, but you read everything I write anyway - I see you it's cool. I will take the fans.....)

Process this....

(Photo taken at Blockhouse Coffee, located in Richmond...if you ever need a creativity boost, which has become weekly for me, this is where you need to go!)

I have this awesome journal called "Make Shit Happen," created by the company Meraki Printing. They are two yogis that live here in Houston who found their creative voice and hit the ground running. They basically ran on water because their company blew up HUGE!

Each month has a theme to focus on and this month's theme (May) focuses on "Presence". "Getting Present" is a huge yogic/ mindfulness term. Just walk into any yoga studio and you will hear this right in the beginning of class or in the distant conversation of two people in the hallway. But, what does it really mean?

Defining Presence: pres-ence (noun) - the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.

Taking this one step further and defining "Present" - existing or occurring now.

So when a yogi says they need to "Get Present" what the F do they really mean!?!?!? Well I have no idea, I only know what I mean....

Since I have been working on "getting present" this week, what does that look like for me?? Well, I feel like I've had a rough week, because when you start to dissect things, things get dirty/messy and a lot uncomfortable. Seriously, is there such thing as a clean dissection?!?! Currently I am in a program that is helping me create my vision and goals for my future (Lightyear Leadership), and we are at the point in the program in which I actually get to make those goals and create that vision for myself. This means I am making decisions about what I am committed to, where I feel boxed in, where I feel growth or feel stagnant, and where I feel frustrated or excited. How do I get to where I want to go?

These questions have come with an explosion of feelings. With those feelings have come some hard conversations, not just conversations with myself but with others. Conversations in which I do not want to hurt someones feelings, but I learned this week that I can't skip the struggle, the feelings and the messiness surrounding it all.

In the midst of it all I found myself saying over and over again, "I just need to process that" or "I've been processing this and...." and I don't know if that is just a nice yogic way of saying "I'm over thinking this" because it is SO easy to over think presence. Presence is just being with yourself right now. Like I am present to this blog post, I am dripping in emotion and I feel the heat on my fingertips as I type. I feel the messiness of my thoughts as I re read each line constantly finding imperfections. I am present to hearing my littlest breathe her sleeping breaths as I try to quietly type, and I feel my husbands anxiousness as he waits for me to complete my task so we can have dialogue about our day outside in our sanctuary.

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