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A Mom in a Triangle Top

This is me and Kollin at the beach


You are lying to yourself and everyone if you seriously say "I'm not a judge-y mom." Listen, we all have good intentions, truly we do, and maybe its not the big things we are judging each other on..maybe its the little or vise versa. But still, if you are a mom you have no doubt judged another mom.


Maybe you have found a group of moms that you connect with and thats awesome, and you guys don't judge each other. Trust me its amazing when your mom friend can walk into your disastrous house that literally looks like a toddler tornado and not have her judge you for it, mostly because she understands or hers looks just like yours. But still, get a massive group of moms together and use phrases like "breastfeeding",  "cloth diapering" or holy shit "vaccines/anti-vaccines" and see that place basically light on fire with all of the crazy steam coming out of other mom's ears, if you get really lucky you might see one mom's head literally spin all the way around.

Low and behold I found myself at our local neighborhood pool yesterday. Me, just like all of you, hate wearing a swim suit. I discovered yesterday that I wasn't really sure why. I was leaving the house with Kollin, my son who is 3 and a half, while wearing a dress over my swim suit and he says "Mommy, you have to wear your swim suit why are you wearing that?" I told him I couldn't wear just my swim suit in public I needed to be more covered, but then I confused even myself because his swim suit is a long sleeved rash guard and shorts, which is a perfectly out and about acceptable outfit...so how do I explain that. Finally, I just told him that I was going to wear my dress once we got to the pool and only have my swim suit on when we get there, and that eased his mind.

I also realized yesterday that I absolutely hate public pools and will be sticking with my own for a while, unless the tiny guy absolutely begs me to go, not because of the swim suit issue, but many many other judge-y mom things like... annoying asshole kids that won't leave my stuff or my kids stuff alone after telling them repeatedly "that isn't yours, that is his" and "no, he doesn't have to share with you because we don't even know you", parents who just put their kids in lifejackets and sit on the side with no intention of watching their kid...you know your kid can still float facing down right?!?!, and the "this is where I normally sit" mom - seriously, it's a pool and you weren't here an hour ago, feel free to STFU and move along, but thanks for at least moving my stuff into another shaded area.

Anyway....back to the swim suit issue. I don't want to turn this into a "body issue." Because, how many people do you know that YOU think has a perfect body and you ask them and they don't like some feature. I'm just going to say everyone. I've rollercoaster-ed with my weight since college gaining and losing about 10-15 pounds. Then, I had Kollin and well stretch marks, saggy skin and cellulite happened.....but I'm in great shape. I'm not skinny, I'm not fat, but I am strong and I love it. I like to call my workout habits "working out to eat" I don't want to diet, I want to work hard to eat a burrito. I feel fat sometimes, and other times I feel skinny. It is just something everyone struggles with.

What I don't understand was why was I the only mom out of maybe 15 moms at the pool that had on a triangle top and bikini bottom swim suit without a cover of some kind on. Are we all that judge-y? One mom looked like she had a ROCKING 6 pack, but I couldn't see it under her t shirt and swim shorts. I just wanted to say "Girl, you had four kids show off your hard work", but we are all too busy worrying about what all the other moms think. Seriously though...there was only one dad at the pool and he was asleep on the side.

I quickly realized its not really my weight or my stretch marks that I was worried about it is all the other moms who aren't in my "mom group" that I don't know that were just staring at me (honestly it could be my terrible tan lines, it looks like I have on an ivory colored tank top/shorts wetsuit). Can't we all just put our "staying at home mom" vs "working mom" differences aside and all wear the freaking swim suits that we actually want to wear. Because honestly, I just want some sun on my back and belly, and I don't care what yours looks like but you probably want that as well.

My awesome tan lines I was telling you about. 
I left the pool without my cover up dress on (although I did put it on later to go to the grocery store). But seriously wear the swim suit that you actually want to wear without having to put on shorts to take your kid to the pool and let those moms judge you for something else. Can't we all just agree that being a mom is tiring, stressful, hard and also fun, exciting, and rewarding. Can't we all just bring each other up and not worry about our bodies and just judge each other on other mom crap. I want to wear a swim suit without getting side eye...is that seriously too much to ask?

Lets not take this too far and all go topless and wear only thong bottoms, but I am just saying if you find a cute two piece at Target BUY IT, who cares if you have a little cellulite (your legs will be submerged in the pool water anyway).

Now for the rest of the public pool stuff, I don't have enough time or energy to be all judge-y mom. I say let's solve one problem at a time and wear the freaking swim suit that you deserve or want to wear....and if you aren't a mom reading this, wear what you want to wear also. I'm just saying I grew a kid in my belly and it doesn't look the same and it did when I was 20 (lets be honest nothing does, and for the most part I'm not sad about ANY of it), but my kid is awesome and so are the marks he left behind.


Once again stomach out...stretch marks, skin, and all. 

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